20.03-21.03 Ready, Set, Go – Or maybe not?
What if I would not get onto that plane. What if I just stay and get back into my normal life. The life everybody else is living and everybody else wants me to live. I could simply go back to university.
And admit that I failed.
That I am not strong enough, not good enough to go my own way.
I am not scared of flying. I am scared of the future, but that’s normal? Or maybe not?
Either I make it or I fail. My future depends on this, my dreams depend on this…kind of a strange feeling, that this is it, I got the chance…but how do I take it?
I tried normal. It is not what I want. 24/7 days do not work with me.
I want to move, I want to run, I want to fly.
I want to grow stronger than I ever thought it to be possible.
I want the bruises, the pain and the tears, because they are a proof of how much I am fighting. The training in China made me feel more alive than anything else in my life and the writing let’s me be me, without a mask I tend to put on when I am under people.
But maybe China was just so awesome because it was an adventure? Maybe it won’t be this time?
I think I am crazy, insane even.
All these Nomads traveling the world, standing fully behind their dream and seeming so absolutely happy about their choice, kind of scare me even more.
They never seem to doubt themselves or to be scared about their decision.
Weird isn’t it, how one wants to fly, but shackles hold them down.
Is it the right decision?
Who knows, to late to doubt now. I am on the plane. The only thing left is to go down fighting
or to learn how to swim.
Here just a short video of the journey…I am playing around with my videocuttin program and practising 😉
Have you ever doubted yourself, even though you knew it would be just pulling you down? What do you do when these evil little b**** hit you?