Being a female Martial Artist isn’t as easy as one would think.
Telling others that you consider yourself a warrior, who is protecting what is important to you from harm, your family, friends and even strangers that are in the need of help, whether it is just carrying a bag for an old lady or simply speaking up when others get harassed, leads to other People giving you a confused or maybe even irritated look.
It is who I am.
In other times I would have been one of these females swinging their sword instead of sitting at home and waiting for their man to return, even if it would have had dire consequences.
When I was little I jumped in to rescue my little sister and got beaten up instead.
If it would have been a one on one I would have kicked that boys ass, sadly it was a whole group, so I got a bit of a beating, but my sister being so adorably smart got my mother, and an angry mother can be truly terrifying.
But even before I had an idea what to do, I always rushed to help.
When I first went to a martial art class I finally felt like doing something were I could be me and by the way I learned how to get out of situations without fighting there too 😉
Nowadays I get left in peace when I walk the streets at night. Who knows if it is just the vibe I give of or that I am incredibly lucky 😉
But I still feel like I have to defend who I am deep in my heart and what I love doing again and again.
Just recently I got a message from a person who read my blog.
Don’t understand why a cute girl like you is so into martial arts?
If I wouldn’t be “cute” would that make me more likely to be interested in martial arts?
Why should my look decide on what I am interested in.
Or is it more that I am a woman?
Who else if not myself should defend me? Should I wait and scream for help? Or are you simply intimitated that I might be able to kick your ass? Am I not allowed to feel confident and strong? Do I have to pretend I am weak simply because of my looks?
And that is what it is.
When a man tells the group he does martial arts the woman start swooning and the men think that it is cool, if I then ask what he does and that I am doing martial arts too, the reactions change considerably.
Sometimes the other woman actually frown at me. Funnily I have to add that many man actually can deal with it better and think it is interesting.
But with saying that I am in seconds in the friendzone. So they start seeing me more as one of them instead of an actual woman.
I am asking you, why should it matter if I am a woman or man?
But it does matter. On dates when you come to the dreaded hobby question, I am considering not even mentioning that I do martial arts, because as soon as I do, many back away and are suddenly intimidated. (Which is still why I do it, because don’t want to date somebody who doesn’t like me as I am…easy to sort out the ones that need woman just to feel strong xD )
They talked with me since an hour, sometimes even compliment me on being a confident and independent person…but if i am an independent person who knows how to defend herself that isn’t ok?
For some reason the stronger the man, the more likely he is to back away.
You can tell me know, that is because man want to protect and woman have to be protected. If a woman can do that herself, man feel useless.
Dear men I have so much more faith in you, get away from this pity excuses.
I do know I am a challenge for people in general, falling completely out of the raster what a woman should be, how she should act and behave. But then who makes the rules on how we should behave?
Can we not all decide by ourselves who we want to be?
But I am tired of these constant fight, to be recognized as an equal.
Even in martial arts training I had guys saying they can’t train with me full strength because I am a girl. Even though I trained since a longer time than them.
Some even got pissed of when they noticed that I was more advanced.
When in training give it your all, just if your opponent is a beginner take it easy, don’t beat them to a pulp please.
But never judge an opponent on whether they are female or male.
I am either way against the whole: never beat a girl.
That is simply discriminating, men and woman. This should be : NEVER BEAT ANOTHER PERSON!
Yes I am a martial artist and yes I am a woman.
I am very proud of being both.
I am a warrior in my heart, love to train a whole day till I break done, will always try to protect the weak and am able to fight my battles alone.
But this doesn’t make me any less of a woman.
I am not saying that all woman should do martial arts, because it isn’t a sport for everybody. The same way not all men are boxing.
I am saying one should be accepted for the way they chose to live. If they are “cute” or not shouldn’t matter.
What about you? Did you have similar experiences, maybe in other fields? How do you deal with it? Or maybe what is your personal opinion about woman training martial arts? Do you think it is a good or not so good?
Leave me a comment =)